After no posts for a while, I think some rants have built up inside my head. These are just a few. This post will probably be deleted once I have calmed down, or am back at home with L And not missing her quite so much.
1. No, my daughter did not get an eating disorder because I lost weight recently. It isn’t a virus or catching in any way. An eating disorder is not dieting without perspective. It is an illness
2. Please don’t tell me you are really pleased that your chid is really sensible, focused and loves food too much to ever get an eating disorder. I don’t have the heart to tell you how wrong you are.
3. No, it wouldn’t be great to have anorexia just a little bit.
4. To L’s father, eating ‘some soup’ is not the same as eating a meal. If you want me to be less controlling or critical, then buy a bloody book and find out about nutrition and calories. Otherwise be grateful someone else did the work for you.
5. Also to L’s father, telling her how unhappy you are because your French girlfriend (who is only eight years older than L) went back home for the summer, will not make her realise that other people have problems too and that she should probably get over hers. I am trying to imagine the universe in which this would make sense.
6. It will not make me feel better if friends tell me how hard it is that their children are eating them out of house and home and there is never any food left in the fridge. I know you are at a loss as to what to say, but it makes me long for the normal exasperating teenage behaviour and grieve for the years L is losing.
7. Eating cake does not make you ‘wicked’ or ‘naughty’. It makes you a person who eats cake. Perhaps if we stopped fetishising food we might start just eating it when we need to and stop seeing deprivation as some kind of achievement.