L is home for a couple of hours this evening in advance of a longer trip home tomorrow. She is sitting on the sofa, next to one of her best friends. We are watching X Factor. Someone is murdering a song. We are cringing. We hate the acts who are awful, offered up for entertainment. It is like a normal Saturday night. Except in just over an hour she will have to go back to the hospital. She nearly didn’t make it. When I arrived at the unit they told me she hadn’t finished her evening meal and she shouldn’t really come home. I don’t know who was closer to tears. We agreed she would have a larger snack and we made it out of there.
She hasn’t left the hospital grounds in ten days. But here it feels like she has never been away. I hope that she loves being back so much, she will try even harder to get better. In my head, I am trying to push aside the statement issued by another L’s mother,the L who is in a hospital in the North of England weighing only three stone. Her mother was interviewed in response to the court case over whether the hospital should force feed her daughter. She described L as a lovely girl, for whom the illness was never expected and the outcome could never have been foreseen. This L spent 90% of her life from 14 as an inpatient.
I just know L will be different. I cannot believe the young beautiful woman on the sofa doesn’t have a bright future. On the TV, the singer is now a young man singing with such intense emotion, his parents are weeping behind the scenes. For L, I think the record is changing too. I believe she will get through this and by the Xfactor final, she will be home for good.