It has been a long and trying day. At one point, I thought it would be easier if L went back to the unit. But we got through and made it to J’s gala recital. K stayed home, still angry at the impact of anorexia. It was an incredible evening. J played outstandingly and there was a real buzz, especially as some renowned bassoonist had turned up to see him. I had to push through an excited throng around him just to say goodbye. We drove back, L collected her things and I took her back to the unit. We were both exhausted.
It is now late. The wind howls outside. I think of my child with an eating disorder struggling to recover, my child with Aspergers and his astonishing talent, but his confusion at the world and my bewildered child, angry at everything around her. I feel how tired I am in every bone, how next week I must find energy and reserves for a demanding job in a challenging environment. Sometimes our successes are just that we are still here, a little further on than yesterday and a little behind tomorrow. My daughter came home, it was so much tougher than I thought, but we survived. And now I need sleep before tackling tomorrow