An up and down day

J’s 18th birthday is today. I call him on waking up – he even sounds older. It is a real milestone to be the parent of an adult. L is having a really tough time though. The Fluoxetine is giving her really unpleasant side effects. Her anxiety levels are through the roof and she is shaky and jumpy. All I want to do is wrap her up in a blanket until it stops. C and I visit the team at the clinic. It is the first time he has been to one of the formal meetings with them and I realise it is helpful for me to have him there, I need to let others in, not just complain about no one else getting it.

C and I go into town to buy J’s present. I think about rushing home to do housework on this precious day off, but in the end, C and I have lunch together. We talk about our worries about L and once again I wonder how on earth we got here. My daughter is a bright, brilliant student, with a maturity and kindness much admired by others, but she has become so ill and my heart aches for her. However, she is now home for the weekend. We are about to go out to see J and as my work meeting has been cancelled this weekend, we can slouch on the sofa all weekend, wrapped up in blankets to try and ride out the Fluoxetine storm together.

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