Hobbling Along Part 2

The title of the previous post and this one might make more sense if I explained the context. Last week was L’s date of discharge from hospital and it should have been the event of the week. Unfortunately it ended up being a little overshadowed. Firstly by my mum breaking her ankle badly while out walking in the Peak District. After a helicopter rescue and surgery, she is discharged from hospital. Bit she can do nothing for herself. She can hop on crutches, but cannot carry a cup of tea or a plate and as she lives alone, this makes life difficult. I am wracked with guilt and know I should go up to see her and look after her. I wonder if I can work a way around work commitments – and then C cracks a rib. He too, becomes completely incapacitated.

It is as if someone has kicked away my own crutches. At least the insomnia has a purpose as I have company through the night, but in the form of a partner in severe pain. Instead of lying awake and plotting my escape from work, I fetch drinks and painkillers and try make him comfortable. The morning comes and there are breakfasts to make, lunches to pack, cats to feed and laundry to put away, all before leaving home at 7.30, I arrive home on Monday and C is still in bed. The mug of tea from the morning is still there, along with the washing in the machine. There is no dinner cooked – after a year of C’s retirement, this comes as a shock. I had failed to realise how much he does, how much I rely on him.

It is a tough week. L’s discharge deserves a whole separate post, but aside from that, C continues to be unwell and my mum is no better. Work seems impossible and by the end of the week there are multiple grievances lodged against changes I am trying to make and I spend hours drafting responses and attempting to make progress. A really valued group of colleagues refuse to even meet with me to discuss the situation. I feel utterly defeated. Sleep is impossible and as the week ends, I drive up to Sheffield with L. I am so tired and I know I am unfit to drive. But there is no crash, we arrive safely and as usual, the world keeps turning and I just keep on going. We are all of us just hobbling along, hoping to just keep going.

Advertisements

2 responses to “Hobbling Along Part 2

  1. Well your week certainly puts mine into perspective: I thought I was having a tough one till I read this! Please please take care and find someone – anyone – to look after you! If I knew where you were I’d be round … Do you have any friends you could SOS for some meals/treats?

    • Hi, thanks, when I read it back, I just thought, Wow! It really does sound grim. But I think the point I am trying to make is that the human spirit just keeps plodding on. When people ask how I cope, I wonder what the alternatives are? This is what people do, keep going. Because stopping is harder.

      This weekend there was a news report about five members of the same family being killed in a car crash. Unimaginably horrible. Broken or cracked bones. Workplace woes, this is just the crap life throws at us. We just have to hobble on and wait for the good bits.

      But, I have taken tomorrow morning off, will have a lie in and catch up with some jobs in the house and it will be ok

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s