Who Wrote These Rules

I don’t believe that eating disorders are caused by society. But I do think they are triggered. In the same way you don’t send an asthmatic to an angora rabbit convention, an anorexic should not be allowed to read slimming magazines or post pictures on Instagram. Or indeed read any magazine. Because These Are The Rules. Written by Some Bloke. Possibly

1. Men are bigger than women. They are taller, broader, have a bigger shoe size and can lift things. If this doesn’t apply, you are a lesbian. Or a freak. Your Choice.

But the other great rule, even more powerful is:

2. Men Fix Things, but Women Know Where Everything Is. Just try it. Walk into any house and ask where the pink socks are. All eyes will rest on the mum. Sometimes she will stay still, stirring a sauce and say “It’s in the cupboard under the stairs. Just looK a bit harder”. It’s always there, just where she said it was

The thing is, we get tired, always being right. We want someone else to know the answers. We don’t want to ask for help. Many of us have lost count of the times we have been asked to say what help we want, when and where we want it and the truth is, we want someone else to know this. We want to be the person offering help, not the person calling for towels. I have grown tired of being the director in the tragedy of a home blighted by anorexia and OCD.

But somehow, we are a centrifugal force, as mothers in the home. We are looked to for solutions, even though every instinct squeals to drink wine and retreat. We are caregivers. We look after people. The thing is, who looks after us? And, where are my bloody socks?


One response to “Who Wrote These Rules

  1. As I read this, I realised that I could have written every word myself. It describes exactly my feelings about being a caregiver. The sheer exhaustion that comes with the expectation that you will know all the answers. And the feeling that you have to do everybody’s thinking for them. And inside somewhere the voice shouting “what about me?”

    Thank you for putting this into words. And even as I type this I am called on to find – of all things – the mute button on the tv remote control! Because the supposedly intelligent adult next to me can’t find it. Aaaaaaargh. Life feels very lonely sometimes.

    Hoping today goes well xx

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