Being the Grown Up

I’ve often heard older people say that you feel exactly the same inside your head as you did when you were a teenager, no matter how old you get. I guess that’s true and I’ve reflected that at the moment I’m In a teenager phase. This whole anorexia shtick, it’s just totally so, like, unfair! And even when I go and see L, she’s all, oh, I’m going to Morrisons, and I’m like, oh well, stuff you, K and I are going to IKEA and well, yeah. *does the head shimmy and talk to the hand movement*.

Being ill doesn’t help, but the thing is, I’m the grown up and she’s the anorexic. Somewhere along the path of flu, depression, throat infections and back pain, I forgot that. Or perhaps I just wanted to be the person who got looked after. I certainly needed to be looked after by someone. But that’s C’s job, although who the hell looks after him? Anyway, I get that going to Morrisons probably is a big deal when you’re an inpatient and cooped up in the same building five or six days a week. Of course L wants to see me. I think today must be the first day I have felt as if I am on the way to getting better because I remembered my previous mantra of letting Ed do the drama while I do the calm and constant. Perhaps the clouds in my head are starting to clear.

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One response to “Being the Grown Up

  1. I hope you do not take offense to this, but if I were your daughter, I would feel rather insulted that you referred to me as, “the anorexic.” Your daughter has anorexia, but she is not anorexia. I do not know how your daughter would feel if she read this, however I know if my own mom had written such a statement about me, I would be in tears in an instant. She may have an eating disorder, but we should not define her whole self has that eating disorder. There is so much more to her than that.

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